10 Hilarious Resume Writing Mistakes

Crafting a resume is no small feat. It’s your personal highlight reel—a one-page attempt to sum up your professional life in a way that says, “Hire me, I’m fantastic!” But resumes have a sneaky way of sabotaging even the best candidates. Sometimes, in our quest to stand out, we end up adding too much flair, forgetting that hiring managers might see our bold choices in a… different light.

Here are some of the funniest resume missteps that might be blocking your path to job glory, along with tips to turn them around.

The “Creative” Job Title

Hiring managers want to know what you did at your previous job, but they’re probably not ready for “Chief Happiness Engineer” or “Digital Overlord.” In a world where your resume will go through Applicant Tracking Software (ATS) before a person even sees it, quirky job titles can actually harm your chances.

Better Approach: Translate unusual job titles into straightforward language that anyone can understand. If you were the “Social Media Wizard,” simply put “Social Media Specialist.” Save the title creativity for your LinkedIn headline if you must.

The Skills That Are Really Just… Basic Skills

Under “Skills,” you may be tempted to list anything you’ve even remotely mastered. But filling this section with gems like “Using Microsoft Word” or “Internet Savvy” can make it sound like you just discovered Google.

Better Approach: Instead of basic computer skills, focus on what makes you unique in your field. If you’re a data whiz, list “Data Visualization” or “Advanced Excel Functions” rather than just “Microsoft Excel.” Make sure each skill truly adds value and differentiates you.

The “Too Much Information” Format

If your resume is bursting with colors, decorative fonts, and non-standard layouts, hiring managers might struggle to even find your experience. While a creative resume design might seem eye-catching, it can make your resume hard to read and even harder to take seriously.

Better Approach: Use a clean, simple format that’s easy on the eyes. Save the unique fonts and design flair for your portfolio or website if you’re in a creative field. Think minimalist, not chaotic.

The Timeline That Goes All the Way Back

We all had formative experiences in those first jobs, but listing your teenage work history in fast food from over a decade ago can detract from your current skill set. If your resume reads like a personal memoir starting in high school, hiring managers may struggle to find your relevant experience.

Better Approach: Stick to relevant, recent work that speaks to the job you’re applying for. If you’re more than a few years into your career, focus on roles from the past decade. Anything beyond that only needs to be included if it’s directly relevant.

The Hobby Confessions

Adding some personality to your resume isn’t a bad thing, but the “Hobbies” section is a delicate balance. There’s a fine line between unique and oversharing. “Perfecting my pasta recipes” or “Watching true crime documentaries” might seem fun, but these won’t necessarily wow a hiring manager.

Better Approach: Mention hobbies that offer some insight into who you are while staying work-friendly. Hobbies like “learning new languages” or “volunteering at animal shelters” say a bit about your character without risking oversharing.

The Attention-to-Detail Fail

One of the most tragic (and common) resume blunders is bragging about your “attention to detail” only to include a glaring typo. Imagine seeing “Excellent attnetion to deatil” on a resume—instantly memorable, but not in a good way.

Better Approach: Proofread, then proofread again. Ask someone else to review it, too, since fresh eyes can catch what yours miss. If “attention to detail” is a genuine skill, this is your chance to prove it.

The Overzealous Objective Statement

Gone are the days when an objective statement was necessary, yet some still cling to it. A good objective should be short and sweet, not a lofty mission statement about changing the world. An “Objective: To revolutionize digital media and drive global innovation” might sound impressive, but hiring managers just want to know if you fit the job.

Better Approach: If you want to include an objective, keep it simple and relevant, like “Seeking a role in digital marketing to leverage five years of experience in social media strategy.”

The Skills That Are Outdated

If your “Technical Skills” section lists programs and software that no one has used since 2003, it’s time for an update. Listing “Internet Explorer” as a skill isn’t likely to get you a second look. Neither is mentioning “faxing” or “using a scanner”—we’re all there, friend.

Better Approach: Only list skills that are relevant today. If you haven’t added new software or tools in a while, it might be worth investing in a course to learn something current.

The Buzzword Overload

Sometimes, resumes are so jam-packed with corporate jargon that they sound like a tech conference keynote: “Dynamic, results-oriented professional optimizing for scalable solutions.” It’s tempting to rely on buzzwords, but this approach can end up sounding hollow or confusing.

Better Approach: Instead of stuffing your resume with buzzwords, aim for clear, straightforward language. Describe your achievements specifically: “Increased sales by 20% through targeted social media campaigns” is more powerful and memorable than “Dynamic results-oriented approach.”

The “References Upon Request” Finale

Adding “References available upon request” at the end of your resume is another classic move that no longer serves a purpose. It’s a given that you’ll provide references if asked, and this phrase just takes up valuable space.

Better Approach: Use every inch of space to highlight skills, achievements, and experience. Leave the reference statement off altogether, and add one more sentence to an accomplishment instead.

Writing a resume that’s professional, polished, and memorable isn’t easy—but avoiding these resume “don’ts” can give you a serious advantage. Keep it relevant, clean, and typo-free, and remember that sometimes less is more. And if you can’t resist listing your cooking trophies, maybe save them for your “Fun Facts” on the company’s icebreaker day!

Authored By: Samona Sarin 

With 15 years of HR experience, she primarily focuses on writing standout resumes. Leveraging her deep understanding of hiring processes and employer expectations, she helps clients craft resumes that showcase their best professional selves.